Angels are real; they live in our heads

by gillian schnurr

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released November 7, 2015



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gillian schnurr Toronto, Ontario

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Track Name: Navigation
there was a cold wind blowing the house in
there was knocking and talk in slow motion
on paper it felt like i mean it
the ink spilt, it bled across the pavement

i don't really know who you are
and i don't really know what you think
about the way that it all fell apart
go back to the place that we started from

there was a safety pin holding my thoughts in place
there was a moment long since forgot in space
on paper it looked like it ended
the ink spilt, the colours blended

now i don't really know where you've been
and i don't want to know what you think
about the way that it all came apart
go back to the place that we started from

though i don't really know where that is
i don't want to know what you think about this
our old navigation tricks
were more like a bandaid than the real fix

should i say that i'm glad that you're here?
should i turn over the hour glass?
the sand runs out either way
i'm glad that there's not much in there
the weight of the world is too much for me to bear
Track Name: You Had A Question
i've got visions in my head
i've got wishes yet to spend
there's a darkness overhead
i wish i'd stayed at home instead

there are stars that blind my eyes
so i shut them tight
i've got problems here to fix
please don't tell anyone any of this

(does that answer your question?)
Track Name: Self-Esteem For Losers
it’s not the way it used to be
but darling you inspired me this time
you were reaching for a feeling
or a reason not to end it on a rhyme

maybe nothing really matters now you're gone
maybe nothing really mattered all along
and that’s where i went wrong

i promised to stay positive
so now i’m optimistic to a fault
i was far too busy listening
to focus on what you’re saying at all
after every conversation i feel different and strange and very small
i say any change is good and it’s a miracle I’m able to all

so it’s not the way it used to be
but darling really this is for the best
and i’ll go back to where i’m from
so you can firmly set the sun down west

you can put your dummy book away
you can’t keep repeating what you say
and that’s why i can’t stay

i’m not the way i ought to be
but i present my own defence
with it all laid out in front of me
it makes a funny kind of almost sort of sense

but god has mighty hands you know
and he has figured out more than we’d planned
i wanted to know everything
but now i hope i never understand
Track Name: Nice To Know You
writing letters hasn’t ever made me feel less lonely
looking back on photographs that make the past seem phoney
pour the liquid in its glass tilt back and drink it slowly
when it’s done there is no fun still acting dumb
when it’s been nice to know you

sending postcards in the mail is just my way of choking you up
making stories up that suck just so you know I’m joking
as you lit your cig up with a match don’t tell me you’re still smoking
when this is over we’ll be older, broke, and sober
it’s been nice to know you

every winter i come in here where i’m sure she saw me
rolling papers in my corner like a slow tsunami
there’s no boat, no coat, no life support to strap right on me
when we fall overboard don’t follow me, don’t bother
it’s been nice to know you
Track Name: I Built A Wall
i see it well
a sea of secrets not to tell
i built a wall
watched on in wonder as it fell over our heads
in the pounding rain our horses fled
and we felt so small
i hadn’t learned a thing at all
or don’t recall
and the result’s about the same

it’s not a game
they told me with the straightest face
we knew our place
waited for the bang to start the race
and then i wait and wait
resist the urge to take a single step in either way
pray i’lll die or worse
i’ll stay alive

if you want to be pretty i’ll show you a good time
if you want to be picky i’ll show you a bad time
if you want an idea i’ll put one in your head dear
if you want to get out of here

if you want to be born i’ll show you a good time
if you want to be happy i’ll show you sun shine
i’ll show you the sun shine